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| ....which may or may not subsequently save black women, which in turn can save the black family.
Lemme
start by saying this. i LOVE my little sister. i'm talking, background
of my cell phone, photo on top of the computer, keep a pic of her in
the car, special ringer, all that kinda stuff. But that's the problem.
You know the recent news when the father shot the boy who was having
sex with his daughter ? Men across the U.S. (especially us BLACK men
who grew up in this Black Exploitation Television age) felt him.
Because on one hand, some of the people we knew in college, who we
still say what up to.... be fuckin bitches, and smuttin these hoes out.
let's keep it 100. Most of us know someone who is just tryna get some
pussy and has no problem sayin that. it aint no manipulation or no
bullshit, he aint hittin the girl no shit like that.... but he's in it
for the pussy, and as soon as you know it, he's beating the freaky
broad in the shower. Imagine that it's only gettin worse. Because if
you graduated college in 08.. you knew that the class of 09 was the
last year of reasonable people and shit that came with it.. it's only
gettin worse..... you knew exactly why he shot. and shot. and shot.
and... shot.
The first one was just for being triflin and fuckin in his house (he can't shoot his daughter.. c'mon)
the
second ? I don't even know you. I refuse to believe my daughter is
having sex, but if she is... i'd like to know the mf'a (so i can kill
him if something happens)
3- he's 18 and she's 16 ? Enough said.
and the most important thing is...
if
the daughter had been in his life for 16 years.. THATS 16 YEARS OF
SLEEPLESS NIGHTS WORRYIN ABOUT SOME BULLSHIT HAPPENIN TO HIS CHILD...
can
you imagine the bullshit that a person thinks about when he gets home
from work (which may be at 5:30, a whole 3 hours after high school is
out..... which is long enough to get into all kinds of trouble.... *not
that i've done anything :-X* ) and turns on the news to this?
"16-year-old boy beaten to death in Roseland"
"Police: Gang rape outside school dance lasted over two hours"
Generally,
Niggashit happens with men. Let's be forreal. Women may be petty, and
they might like each other, and occasionally they'll go to blows.. but
men ? I'ma have my son learn how to throw em (oh wait, we dont fight,
we shoot now :-\) because even sayin hello is an asswhoopable offense
to these simple ass men. we fight over people looking in the wrong
direction, minding their business, just being around. like come on.
Now
that makes me want to whoop someones ass and it aint my child. Come on.
But the thing about girls is... girls dont do girls as bad as boys do
girls. and a lot of that is sexual based. if it aint physically
"fuckin" the girl, it's callin her a bitch, or makin her an object...
throwin money at her (which leads the girl to think that the pussy is
the end all, be all.... like she aint got shit else to offer, cause
simple ass men can't appreciate personality or intelligence... it's
SANDOS or keep it movin.) it's perpetuated thru the work of the male.
So
where was i going with alladis ? A group of friends... a bunch of
intelligent, articulate, ambitious people i know.... are all scared to
have daughters. Myself included. Being a male... I think i can teach my
son better than i can a daughter (and that's evident in the
expectations i give my male students, external of classroom stuff) but
i think it's more that... being a male... i know what kinda stupid shit
we do that can destroy the black woman.
I'll have more, but blogging doesn't pay the bills so i got to finish some work.
Be easy.
| | |
| It's an 8 lane freeway. 4 goin north, 4 goin south. I feel like 90% of
the people are going the other way. (i refuse to say wrong way, because
i'm not going pass judgment.. yet) But I see that the end of the
freeway is an abrupt stop... causing cars to plummet to their death.
They don't see that (rather... they might see it, but don't truly
acknowledge it). I try to save them, but at what point do i stop trying
to save them, to make sure that i'm ok ? We do things that takes care
of those around us without completely messin up what we have to do.
Sure i'll give you 3 dollars. hell no i won't give you my last 3
dollars. (an example of that is.. I want to get paid. If i was only
about getting paid, i woulda robbed,killed, sold drugs or something of
the sort. i'd make more money doing that than anythin i'll ever do
legit. But it's you want to make the most money you can without selling
yourself OR YOUR PEOPLE out *this goes to you Mr. Johnson... * )
Anyways. Do i try to cross the median to prevent all these people from
going to their death ? and even if i do that, and tell them that the
way they're going will lead them to their destruction and the ones they
care about (which is another issue because a lot of people only care
about self :-\ ) who's to say that they'll be receptive to what i'm
trying to say ? But they don't hear me tho. so people you know.... are
leading off the cliff, and what do you do ? It's only so much talking
and showing you can do before you just say f it, because at the end of
the day, you try and try and try to save your people but they... (wait
for it ) don't wanna be saved. how to save a bunch of ignorant, greedy,
selfish mf'as who you call your people... who don't hesitate to steal
from you, kill you, and lie to you (like we don't get that enough from
people who are threatened by us ...) just to get a dollar. There's an
proverb somewhere (i need to find it) but the just is...
The trees relaxed because they saw the axe had a wood handle.
Think about it. As a black man, there is nothing i enjoy more than
seeing my people do well. I take that back. nothing more than seeing my
people do well, and paying it forward... But DAMN i like to let my
guard down every once in a while.. and i do it for black folk, because
i feel that we have a shared experience (Gates - Signifying Monkey )
(wait... FUCKING SKIP GATES TALK ALL THAT GOOD BLACK MAN SHIT AND GOT
HIM A WHITE WIFE.) and we can help each other. FUCK no. only thing
worse than a white man is a black man who thinks he's white. i mean the
white man aint sold no one out... the black man who thinks that money
makes him white... has turned his back on the black folk that helped
him and damn the white people still laughin at him. man if i continue
to rant i'll be up all night. I can go about addressing the 90% of the
freeway all night.. but i'll go back to it later ... for now i'm gonna
just chill and do some real life work.
With all this bs said.. i do love yall. even if i have no faith in
yall... my stupidity leads me to believe i can trust in you. how bout
that. and more importantly.. i want US to be free.
“I freed a thousand slaves I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves.”
-Harriet Tubman..
last thing: if Harriet Tubman said that back then when they were
whoopin the shit outta us daily.... what the fuck makes you think that
it's different now ? in fact it's worse... Niggas and flies.... i tell you.
| | |
| 1. I'm impatient, and i have add. Horrible combo... so i might not make it to 20.
2. Apparently, I've been a threat to boyfriends of women everywhere. from hate mail to fights... apparently i'm a threat.
3. If i had 3000 dolla to waste on somethin ? I'm buyin some electronics.
4. (how fitting on this day) I always find myself dealing with deltas. it jus works out that ways (sorry akas, lol)
5. it took me more than an hour to go between number 4 to number 5
6. as much as i'm sociable, i really hate havin a lot of people around me.
7. I haven't graduated yet... it's driving me crazy when people who don't know shit graduate and pass classes.... it's crazy.
8. Common misconception is that i have money... I really don't. seriously. stop asking.
9. There's a woman who won't date me who has my heart.
10. I mess with the backyardigans.
11. The older i get the more i deal with my father.
12. I'd kill whoever i had to, to ensure my little sister has a great life.
13. The disconnect between myself and the people @ hampton now... crazy.
14. The thesis classes of this year aint got shit on the experimental group of last year.
15. Recently someone cut me off, and for the first time, i found myself tryna explain myself to someone else.
16. Apparently people think i'm a sex crazed whore...
17. But i haven't had sex in over a year.
18. Prolly cause it aint too people worth my time.... if i can't listen to you talk, i sure as hell can't have sex with you
19. I love people who play themselves... it makes me feel good about cuttin them off.
20. I'm kinda excited i got to 20. Danny Granger for all star ! | | |
| In the time that I have to waste on delayed flights, I can do some thinking. Since someone treated me like I usually treat others (yanno dismissive to those who aren’t bout shit) I’ve been lead to kinda do some self-evaluation. I don’t think I’ve experienced a situation where someone who I thought was worth keeping around shitted on me like I’ve done to so many other people. Typically people try to cut me off because I’ve done something where I stroke my ego or intelligence and it’s evident in the divisions between us… does that make sense ? People generally cut me off in a response to me deciding that I don’t want to deal with them or that we’re in a different place at this point of our lives. I don’t do babysitting… I’m not patient. I don’t really have the effort to get to know you after you’ve shown your ass and played yourself… Hopefully that makes sense. But for once in my life I found myself asking someone else to treat me a little differently than how I treat others. I think everyone who can say they really know me would admit and agree that I’ve consistently lacked the capacity to put up for simple-minded people and their antics, and I very rarely apologize for it. It’s something that makes me… well me. My closest friends know that I’m thoroughly impatient. My family knows that. It’s just a trait that isn’t going anywhere. I’m sorry, it aint gon happen, and that’s what it is.
But I will admit that suddenly… It’s funny how at some point in my life I knew that I was gon have to change it, just because that’s the way things happen. No one wants a bad rap, but I mean if you’re consistently not bout shit, then it’s established. I mean but when is it too early to establish your dispositions about someone, because reflective in how you feel about that person… your whole interactions with those people are changed, yanno ? If you think that someone is a thief.. you aint gon leave them in ya house by themselves… but that’s because you have developed these thoughts about the people. Unfortunately as of recent I’ve learned that people feel some kinda way about me, and that they opt not to deal with me… which is fine. But people are throwing out words such as manipulative, liar, and sex crazed. That last one is funny. It’s just funny when people give you a bad rap, and kno I’m guilty of it too byt damn, I didn’t think I did it like that ! lol. I think I’m rambling…. I think it sums up to it being that when someone who’s opinion you value tells you that you aint shit, or have some traits that are something that you honestly can’t see… that kinda throws you off… I wish someone would tell me that they aren’t really inclinded to mess with me because I’m loud or obnoxious… I’d laugh, cause those are traits that I would openly admit that I have when I’m dealing with people… that’s ok. But things like liar ? Those are things that catch me blindsided, and I guess I’m just trying to figure out if that’s really me… It’s a thin line between being cocky and not allowing someone to influence you by their thoughts, and then being so self absorbed and not being able to recognize when people are telling you what the deal really is. Yanno ? If 1 person says you aint shit, you might brush it off, and be like it’s just them… but if 4,5,6 people say it… at what point do you step back and ask yourself… well am I ?
- Woods
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Lets start out with somethin great…
Think my best friend got a job. Like a “lets plan how we gon spend this money, and who we gon throw dollas at cause we shittin on them” kinda job. Congrats negro. We know your ass needed it , before you went insane. So lets get a new car first, then we’ll go look @ some new suits.
OOO I GOT AN IDEA. I’ll write about a relationship that I have with a woman. Yea you might be next. Don’t shoot me over this shit. If I talk about you, you know I love you…. You know how many women I know ? shit. So you’ll get my honest opinion, and you’ll pretty much KNOW when I’m talking about you. And no she wont be the first person I tag or anything, I know better.
Without further ado..
This is to you Miss Grey Area, not because she’s not makin decisions, but because I choose not to listen.
How bout things have been goin quite smoothly as of late… and the same person is still “around” , if you can call it that . The next time I write something about someone, don’t im me asking who it is, cause I’m not telling you. You prolly don’t know her, and that’s how I like it. If you know, then you knew without me writing it. I’m writing it more for me than her, she prolly wont even look @ it, while me, the hopeless romantic… has to express his undying love for her, lol. You kno how it is. It’s the Brandon Woods package. I really want someone to pamper. It’s funny….. cause as much as I’m interested in this woman, I know that she’s not the one if I’m looking to spoil someone. It’s not her thing. Not that she doesn’t appreciate it or anything, but I’m more affectionate and touchy feely and things of that sort with some of yall that are reading it now. And before you continue, no you dumbasses, she does in fact have some interest in me. Lol. I’ve learned how to turn down my “mushyness” when dealing with her, but DAMN I just want to spoil her monkey ass jus for one good day, I unno if it’s for her, or cause I need to get that shit outta my system (no, this isn’t code for sex…. ) I mean she did come out of her way to come see me (not that there weren’t other people she saw…) but to at least stop by my house… I think sometimes she gives me things that she’s not completely comfortable with to please me. This has been one of the most difficult relationships (not like oh we’re dating, but interaction with a person), but at the same time one of the most gratifyin… so I’m willing to make a few minor remixes to how I do things to spend time with her and not be difficult. Am I losing sight of myself ? I don’t think so…. Sometimes I slip up and when I deal with her I’m like how I would be with other people. We were on both ends of the spectrum, and slowly… I guess you could say we’re coming to the middle. Am I gonna stop bein a f’n 16 year old with his first crush ? not anytime soon… is she gonna be showering me with 1000 I love you’s ? Doubt it. Lol. And part of makin it work (whatever it working really means…) is knowing that shit will change… (thanks obama) but… to what degree ? do you ever want to change someone a “complete 360? “ (DAMN I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY THAT… a 360 puts you back in the same spot.) doin a 180 degree change… I don’t know. If you told me I could make a woman into everything I wanted…. I don’t think I would take it. Easy in theory, but shit … the reason why you don’t date the person who is the closest like you , or what you want.. is because ultimately.. there’s some flaws in your architecture of a s.o. .. unno ? So… am I single ? yes. Do I think that ? lmao. No. lol. Ok .. I do. But whenever she’s around… it’s like…. Fuck that . will we ever date ? na . doubt it. But goin thru the motions… I’d rather go thru the motions with her rather than dating some of these women out here who are interested ine me (sheesh @ them. We’ll get into that another day.) Am I being used ? no. I don’t really get to put enough in to get used. And that’s not my choice. Lol but I mean…. In the meantime…. I’m happy with what I have ?
Any difficulties in whatever we have…. They’ve come from me, lol. So I’m getting better. Yall kno I definitely have the capacity to be extra…. Let’s not fool ourselves, lol…. Sorry that this writing was nothing like the first one, of course I’m not really writing for an audience… but to jus get it outta my system. It’s a theme, I do what I want when I want because it feels good to me. Clearly if you’re reading this, then you know.
Shit I wish writing my thesis was this easy.
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